things i miss: passing my future high school on the way to elementary school and feeling like it was such a distant place, easter egg hunts and dying eggs, crafts, the coin donation funnels by mcdonald’s, when it first started getting warm and winter turned to spring and i would be able to wear my denim jacket instead of my winter coat, bike rides with my family, when dad would let me ride the lawnmower, when no one in my family was divorced or missing, grandma’s house and everything in it and walking to the ice cream store down the road only to go home and put the ice cream in her special ice cream bowls, when my kitchen table was in the kitchen and we didn’t have to eat in the dining room, where my seat used to be and how i could never get my feet under the table because there wasn’t any room, my old bed and being able to rearrange my room all the time, when i wanted to be a fashion designer, making jessica believe me and alex were vampires, planning birthday parties and choosing a theme from those magazines, playgrounds, how every saturday mom let me choose a friend from my address book to invite over, going to katie’s house, my green messenger bag, rushing to the library after school to make it in time to get a buttered roll and then taking twenty books home, the way those books always smelled, always wishing i could play on the computer in the library and mom always saying no, shelly and the old doctor’s office, the staircase leading to mom’s old doctor, not having anything to miss, gel pens, the summer of 2010, when my bedroom had a carpet and an air conditioner and how in the summer i’d keep my whole body in front of the fan so i’d be freezing just so i could cuddle under my blankets and feel warm, being able to ride roller coasters, bubble gum medicine, willy living next door, the evergreen in front of anne’s house, grandpa, the way it smelled in my elementary school library, waiting for it to be warm enough out to use the pool in the summer, playing board games and with toys, the tent we had in the basement, valentine’s day cards, apple picking, sticky tac and stealing it from teachers and keeping it in my desk, when i would make restaurants in my dining room to surprise my parents, wildwood and the boardwalk and the smell, dance class, packing school lunch, getting toys for christmas, my orange mary kate and ashley shirt, lip smakers, the old dentist, halloween costumers, old friends, the way the sun would shine through my blinds in the summer, picking flowers from around my house and not realizing dandelions weren’t actually flowers, the tulips in front of my house and how i knew it was spring when they were in bloom

11:11 pm  •  21 February 2012  •  2 notes